So as stated in the post above, there are clearly things I would like to change about myself, yet cannot for whatever reason seem to get a good kickstart. I think by putting down on “paper” the things i would like to happen, that it can somehow help put these things i want out into the universe for some extra help. So here goes:
1. I want to lose 30 lbs. -Now, this has been my hurdle for over a year. I try, but not hard enough. That needs to change.
2. I want to quit smoking. – This has been attempted twice and both times I started back up after less than a week. The first time was becuase I was about to have my wedding and I was eating everything in sight. The 2nd failed attempt was due to me and my dear husband trying to quit at the same time, causeing a little friction. The day we started back up was due to a horrendous fight over dog poop.
3. I want to be active at least 3 times a week- Whether it be a stint on the elliptical, wii games, walking the dogs, a good swim, etc, I want to ensure that I get off my ass a few times a week.
4. I want to start drinking my green drink and agricept every day-This seems like such a no brainer as I have done it for so long. But again, I have slipped off the slope.
I think that me always wanting to make sure my husband is happy has in a way prevented me from doing whats right for me. See, if I dont eat dinner, my sweet man wont eat either! Its awful, i think he feels guilty. So since we have been together my eating habits have got out of control. Im not talking binging on a box of ding dongs or anything, im talking general habits, like when I eat. Im one of those people that really cant eat after 6pm. I have gotten into the bad habit of doing so anyways, and now its just a free for all. Say its 1030pm and I want a cookie, before I would resist and say to myself, if you want a cookie, you can have one tomorrow during the day, but the way I am now, hell, I just eat the cookie. My husband is wonderful about encouraging me to excersize, but in all other ways, he is a full on sabotage. He has never ever once said, “Um, babe, you’re gettin chunky” Never! And shit, I know he has to think it, but he loves me and wont ever make me self consious. The only thing is that when i am trying to eat better, and I go for the cookie, or ice cream, he wont stop me, or say, hey you shouldnt eat that. Nothing. In fact, he will go get me the object of my desire cause he loves me, and probably cause he wants a cookie too and wnt feel guilty if i have one too. I dont know how to balance keeping my husband happy (and keep him eating a full day of calories) and aslo getting myself in gear. There has to be a happy medium somewhere right?